


You, Me & a Jar of Peanut Butter

by l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lick of Destiel, Doggie Gabe, Fluff and Smut, I blame Gabe, M/M, Mostly fluffy fluff and some angst, No dogs were harmed in the making of this story lol, Occuring after S13E22, Sabriel - Freeform, and a jar of peanut butter, porn stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 22:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15650640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4/pseuds/l_P_o_R_v_2_e_4
Summary: Okay so maybe transforming into a dog wasn’t Gabe best plan for sneaking away. Yeah, he had been smart enough NOT to get killed in the Apocalypse World, but he had been caught as a stray in Lebanon, Kansas trying to leave the bunker. And thanks to his freakn’ adorableness, even as a dog, Gabe made the eleven o’clock news. And guess who just decided to come to the shelter and rescue him! It’s a tale of life, love and a jar of peanut butter.





	You, Me & a Jar of Peanut Butter

* * *

 

 

 

 

_God sent angels down to earth_

_in the form of dogs_

_with notes saying_

**_don't judge,_ **

_**just love…** _

_they ate the notes_

_but they keep trying_

_to deliver_

_the message._

\- Anonymous

 

* * *

 

 

 

Gabe hadn't died in that Apocalypse World's forest.

 

Nope.

 

Come on, like he'd be that dumb.

 

He had simply transformed into one of the rebel soldiers and wisely used a dummy Gabe to fill in during the disastrous fight with his dick-bag of an AU brother, Micheal. It had worked brilliantly since no one paid attention to random guy number three walking through the rift.

 

But Gabriel didn't want to be pulled back into the melee either, so he snuck out of the bunker and transformed into a dog. A damn cute one, thank you very much. He was just going to remain that like that until he got far enough away and then transform into a more human form, but it wasn't his lucky day.

 

A kind couple thought he was a stray roaming around and took Gabe to the local animal shelter. He couldn't even change back into his human form because his dog form was so cute everyone at the shelter wouldn't leave him alone.

 

Not that he was complaining. Several hot chicks and this one well-endowed fella took turns holding Gabe in their laps throughout the afternoon. He hadn't been in the cage once. He didn't even have to eat the nasty dog food they tried to give him for supper. Gabe just made a pathetic whimper, and soon the workers were hand-feeding him from their own dinners.

 

Hmmm…maybe he could survive as a dog for the night. Would make it easier to change once the place was quiet. Once back in normal form he could poof away to Monte Carlo and find himself some friendly faces…and other body parts.

 

He was about to be put in the cage for bedtime when the cameras showed up. That douche bag from KPXE news asked the manager if there were any good fluff stories he could cover for the eleven o'clock news. Of course, since Gabe was the golden boy of the day, he was the one chosen. Guess his escape would have to wait a bit longer.

 

"I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Dumbass." Gabe said as he was placed in the reporter's lap. Of course, all anyone heard was, "Arrf! Arrf! Arrf!"

 

 

**BACK at the BUNKER**

 

“Dude, there was nothing we could do.” Dean handed Sam a glass of whiskey.

 

He eagerly took the alcoholic drink and swallowed it down. Something he typically wouldn't do.

 

“Shit! You really are messed up by Gabe's death.”

 

“We didn't even bring his body back, Dean! I mean he was a pain in my ass, but Gabriel deserved better than that.”

 

“How do we even know that was the real Gabe that died?” Dean refilled the empty glass, “I mean he fooled Lucifer the last time…why not this time too?”

 

“I…I would feel if he was still around…right?” Sam rubbed his chest around heart level.

 

Dean stared in shock at the younger Winchester, “Whoa?! What the fuck, Sam? Is there something you want to tell me?”

 

Hazel eyes were rolled as Sam sent his brother an are-you-dense look, “Seriously? Where have you been since Ketch rescued the archangel?”

 

“You just want to bone the tricky dick right? This isn't like welcome to the family shit, is it?”

 

Sam picked up the glass of whiskey and drained it, “No. Not a welcome to the family…well, not now.”

 

Warm hands came to rest on his shoulders, “Fuck! I'm sorry, Sammy. You know what I meant. If we could've saved Gabe, you know I would have.”

 

“I know. Still sucks that we couldn't.” Sam looked around the library at all the happy people that had been saved from the Apocalypse world. It was just too much for his broken heart. “I'm going to head to my room.”

 

Sam grabbed the bottle of whiskey and took it with him. It was going to be that kind of night.

 

“Night, jerk.”

 

“Night, bitch.”

 

At least a small sense of calm settled over his troubled soul when the door shut to the outside world. That was one of the nice things about having a permanent place to come home to.

 

As he turned around, though, and stared at his room Sam's stomach fell. All the walls were still covered in Enochian, chronicling Gabe's outrageous tale of how the archangel had not been killed by Lucifer all those years ago.

 

Sam couldn't stop the small chuckle that escaped his lips. “Porn stars, Sam. Porn stars.” The moment of joy remembering the crazy man's first words just made him want to cry even harder. He desperately needed to distract his brain from overthinking things.

 

He grabbed the TV remote from the nightstand and hit the on button. The thirteen-inch TV on his dresser flickered to life. That douche bag from KPXE news was on the screen which meant it had to be after eleven o'clock already.

 

As Sam headed to the bathroom to take a piss, he removed his bloodstained clothes and let it all drop to the floor. It was while standing at the toilet with his dick was in hand that a dog's joyful bark echoed around the room. Electricity shimmered down his spine at the sound.

 

What the fuck was that about?!

 

He looked over his shoulder, through the doorway, and saw the cutest dog ever being talked about on the TV. “Man those eyes almost look like…”

 

Pain tore savagely through Sam's chest at that thought. He listened as the asshole reporter mentioned the dog was up for adoption at the local shelter over in Clay Center. As he stared at the dog, Sam felt he was supposed to drive the two hours to bring it home.

 

“Well fuck! Looks like I'm about to own a dog.”

 

At least he had only finished off two glasses of the whiskey and not the rest of the bottle as he had planned. Sam might not be at the tolerance level of his brother, but he didn't get intoxicated that fast either.

 

Clean clothes were quickly put on then before Sam went back to the library to locate Dean. The guy wasn't there, though. Sam headed to the kitchen next and found Dean and Cass there. A gushy smile spread across his face seeing the angel's arm wrapped around his brother's waist. Thank goodness, Jack had somehow discovered a way to bring Castiel back.

 

Dean was the happiest Sam had ever seen since those two had finally dealt with the obvious attraction between them.

 

“I'm going to go for a drive. I'll be back in a few hours.”

 

Blue and green eyes stared over at him.

 

Dean's big brother mode was switched on, “Dude, you died today! Do you really think it's wise?”

 

Sam was determined, though. “Yeah, I do. I can't explain it, but I feel better now than I have since I got back.”

 

“Shall I drive with you, Sam?” Cass looked just as genuinely concerned as Dean.

 

“Thanks, but no. I got to do this on my own.”

 

The keys to the Impala were tossed over for Sam to catch, but he just set them on the table. He knew Dean's policy about animals in Baby. “I think I'll take the SUV in the garage.”

 

“Just make sure to bring yourself home.” Dean pointed the spatula at him, “I don't want you to die twice today.”

 

Sam left the kitchen then and traversed through the maze-like corridors of the bunker until he was in the garage. He headed to the navy SUV and opened the driver's side door. With only himself, Dean and Cass normally around they never locked any of the cars. The car keys were just laying on the seat waiting to be used. Sam picked them up and slid inside.

 

A litany of modern rock and other songs filled the two-hour drive as Sam took full advantage of finally being in charge of the music choice. When the flickering sign for the Clay County Animal Rescue came into view, the song _Vision_ by Jason Manns was playing on the radio. Sam parked the SUV and let the song finish.

 

**…I look into the room, but all I see is you**

**You know I'm not complaining because**

**It's a beautiful vision**

 

**One that I've seen in my mind for so long**

**One that haunts me when you're gone**

**and you're the only one I need**

**and you're the only one I see**

**and you're the only one for me**

**I look into the room, but all I see is you**

**I look into the room, but all I see is you**

**I look into the room, but all I see is you**

**You know I'm not complaining because**

**It's a beautiful vision**

 

 

Well fuck! Maybe he shouldn't have let the song play! Like he needed anything else to remind him of Gabriel.

 

A weary hunter got out of the SUV and headed to the front door of the shelter. Yes, it was going on one in the morning, but the place was open twenty-four seven…so at least he wouldn't have to break in and steal the damn dog. “I might not have been able to save Gabe, but I can at least give that dog a better life.”

 

He pulled out his FBI badge and headed to the front counter. “Could I speak to the person in charge.”

 

The bored teen pointed down the hall to a closed door. “Boss is in there.”

 

When Sam reached the office, he looked into the room and saw the dog from the news sitting like a king on the older woman's lap. He knocked twice before opening the door.

 

Was it just him or did the dog's eyes widen when Sam made his way into the small office? “The name's, Agent Zander, and that dog was a witness to a most heinous murder. I'm going to have to take it with me back to the field office.”

 

“Oh, my. ” The older woman looked sympathetically at the dog sitting contently on her lap, “You poor baby.”

 

“Yes, indeed. It must have been horrific. So much blood.” Sam was selling it with everything he had. The more he saw the dog, the more he knew it was supposed to go home with him.

 

The woman brought the dog over to Sam. “Let me just get the necessary paperwork for you to sign.”

 

The warm bundle of fur fit perfectly in his arms. Sam smiled down into those inquisitive eyes, “Hey, buddy, you'll be coming with me.”

 

A wet tongue slurped up his cheek, and it seemed the dog was actually grinning at Sam. “Yes, I believe you and I will get along really well.”

 

The woman came back into the office then with a few papers for Sam to sign. He did so while carefully holding the dog with his non-writing arm. He turned to the lady then, “I'll need you to downplay where the dog is going. We don't want the investigation compromised. Just tell everyone that it got adopted.”

 

“Yes, sir. I can do that.” She moved over and scratched behind the dog's ear. “We'll miss you around here, cutey.”

 

Sam fought not to grin at how easy it had gone as he triumphantly carried the dog out to the SUV. “In you go, buddy.”

 

The dog jumped nimbly into the open door and laid down on the back seat. “Must be nice not to have a care in the world. Wish I could say the same about my life.”

 

Sam shut the door and moved around to the driver's side. As he closed the door behind him and buckled up, the dog jumped up into his lap and rested its head against Sam's chest. “Well, as long as you sit still, I guess you can stay here with me. Chuck knows I could use some warmth today.”

 

The keys were shoved into the ignition and turned, but the SUV didn't budge. Suddenly Sam just felt the weight of the crazy day crash down upon his soul. He gazed out at the flickering sign and sighed, “Fuck! Why did you have to play the hero, Gabriel! Why couldn't you have just let us take care of things?!”

 

A pitiful whimper sounded from the dog, and when Sam looked down those honey-brown eyes were the last straw. He gently wrapped his arms around the dog and just lost it. Tears fell down his cheeks and soaked into the golden fur. Tears about dying, tears about having to make a deal with Lucifer, and tears especially about having front row seats to Gabe's death…again.

 

The dog's tongue flickered out and earnestly tried to lick away all the tears. Sam smiled wearily and placed a kiss on the canine's head, “I'm sorry about that, boy. It's just been a crappy day. Having you around has been the one bright spot. I'm sorry you got lost or were a stray, but I'm glad that you showed up today. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't.”

 

Sam put the car in gear then and started the two-hour trip back to the bunker. “Hope you don't mind music. I'm going to need something to keep me awake. You're too warm, mutt. You're making me sleepy.”

 

Reaching over he hit the on button and grimaced as Asia's _Heat of the Moment_ started playing. “Just great! Like I need anything else to remind me about that sexy little archangel.”

 

The dog looked up at Sam and tilted its head. Sam grinned down, “You never met the guy, but Gabriel was definitely one of a kind. He had the craziest sense of humor and had balls the size of Paul Bunyan's. Nothing was off limits.”

 

“Arrf!”

 

“You liked that? Wanna hear more?”

 

“Arrf-Arrf!”

 

“Well let's start at the beginning. My brother and I are hunters, and we went to this town where a guy jumped to his death, and some frat guy got abducted by aliens."

 

For the next two hours, Sam shared the fantastical tales of Gabriel to the dog who seemed to lap it up. The mutt even barked at certain parts as if to laugh at some of the antics the archangel had pulled.

 

Sam parked the SUV in the bunker's garage and carried his new buddy to his bedroom. “It's not much but its better than a crappy motel room.”

 

The dog jumped out of Sam's arms onto the bed and laid down on the same side Sam normally slept on. He didn't correct it. The mattress was wide enough, and he was tired enough to sleep anywhere.

 

“Fuck!” Sam stood back up as he realized that he needed to let the dog go on a bathroom run outside…definitely didn't want to find doggie accidents around his room in the morning. “I'm sorry, buddy, I'm not used to having a pet. We moved around a lot when I was younger.”

 

“Arrf!” The dog jumped off the bed and ran into the small bathroom. Sam followed wondering what the heck it planned to do in there. And hell! He watched in awe as the clever canine jumped up onto the toilet and peed!

 

“Dang! Your previous owner must have been freakin' awesome. Now if you can only poop that way too, I think I might be in doggie love.”

 

The dog seemed to grin as something plopped into the bowl.

 

“Score! Good boy!” Sam was sure he must be imagining it all, especially when the dog turned around on the toilet seat and used a paw to flush. “Maybe I fell asleep, and _Bruce Almighty_ was playing on the TV.”

 

The dog jumped back into Sam's arms, “You sure feel real for a dream dog.”

 

They moved back to the bed and Sam slid under the sheets. He smiled over to the happy dog, “We should come up with a name for you. Any suggestions?”

 

“Arrf!”

 

“That's right. You're a dog.” Sam scratched behind its ears, “Well since you remind me of him, and I would like to hear his name spoken and not forgotten…I think I'll call you Gabriel. Gabe for short.”

 

The dog jumped up on Sam's chest at that and proceeded to lick every inch of his face. “Well, I assume you must like the new name…Gabe.”

 

“Arrf-Arrf!”

 

Sam reached over to the nightstand and flicked off the lamp. He was normally a side sleeper, but since it didn't seem Gabe was going to move, he just closed his eyes and fell asleep on his back.

 

Being an average human, Sam didn't wake up when thirty minutes later a still wide-awake dog jumped off the bed and transformed back into human Gabe. The naked trickster walked over to the bed and smiled down at the sleeping hunter, “Dammit, Sammy, why are you always my biggest weakness?”

 

SNAP!

 

Clothing appeared on Gabe's body. He glanced once more at the bed and the beautiful man asleep on it. “I'll be right back, my sexy giraffe.”

 

He carefully opened the bedroom door and peered out into the hallway. As much as he cared for the younger Winchester, Gabriel was not going to fight anymore. That meant not getting caught being alive and therefore was the reason he morphed back into the rebel-without-a-name.

 

And as he suspected the library was still a hub of activity. He walked as casually around the room until he was standing next to his new partner in crime. “Hey sexy, know where I could find a copy of the Karma Sutra?”

 

Rowena turned and smirked, “I knew the rumors couldn't be true. You know there are easier ways of wooing a man then getting him jealous and recklessly playing the idiot hero.”

 

Gabe grinned ruefully, “Yeah, if the guy was a normal freakn' human…but we're talking about a damn Winchester. They make everything more complicated.”

 

The two turned as if searching the shelves for a book. Rowena nudged his shoulder with hers, “So where have you been hiding?”

 

“I snuck out of here earlier as a dog.”

 

A loud cackle of laughter filled the space around them. “So why would you come back?”

 

“I got nabbed and taken to a shelter. Apparently, I was too cute, and everyone kept wanting to hold me. I couldn't poof out without drawing attention. I didn't want the boys hearing of a dog disappearing into thin air and come to investigate. I have no desire to fight.”

 

A flawlessly arched eyebrow raised over an emerald eye, “And yet, that doesn't explain why you came back here.”

 

Gabe's borrowed face lit up as a goofy grin stretched across it. “They did a story about my adorableness on the news. Guess who just happened to see it and came to snatch me away?”

 

“No?! Well, my dear, that is what I call fate.” Rowena shook her head, “You two are meant to be together. I wouldn't even put it past your daddy to have a hand in it all.”

 

“Yeah…No! Dear ole dad went off to who-knows-where with Auntie Amara. He doesn't give two rips about any of us…let alone my pathetic love life.”

 

Perfectly manicured, red fingernails and the elegant hand attached to them stroked down Gabe's cheek. “Take it from a mother. We never forget our child. No matter what happens.”

 

“Thanks, Red. I'm glad I fake-snogged you.”

 

“Same, now you better get back to your human.” Rowena teased.

 

“Har, har. Be careful, or I'll pee on your shoes in the morning.”

 

Another cackle of laughter filled the air, “You'd do that in human form too.”

 

A kiss was placed on her cheek, “Fuck yes.”

 

Gabe was cautiously making his way around the room when a worried looking giant stumbled into the library. Sam wasn't even looking up, but instead, those hazel eyes were glued to the floor level. _Shit! He's looking for me._

 

Moving back to Rowena, he nudged her to look. “I need a small distraction so I can change back into doggie style Gabe.”

 

“Sure thing, my darling.”

 

Rowena started walking over towards Sam and stumbled. Everyone turned to see what had happened and…

 

Snap!

 

Gabe was now furry and on all fours. He bumbled out and headed right for Sam. “Arrf!”

 

“There you are, Gabe!” Sam leaned down and scooped the dog into his arms. “You can't go exploring, boy. Even though I have no idea how you opened that door.”

 

A wet dog tongue was the only answer Sam received. “Well, we might as well get a snack before heading back. Hungry, Gabe?”

 

“Arrf-Arrf!”

 

“Me too.”

 

Sam carried the dog as they headed to the kitchen. He let Gabe down and opened up the fridge to see what they had. “Well chocolate is bad for dogs, but not for me. I think I'll have a slice of this cake. And for you…hmm…perfect. There's some leftover chicken.”

 

Gabe whined and begged for a piece of cake, but Sam was adamant, “Sorry, mister, I don't want to have a sick doggie on my hands. Tomorrow I'll go to the pet store and see what treats I can find for you.”

 

The whole time Sam ate the huge slice of cake Gabe's eyes religiously followed every bite. It was so cute, and Sam couldn't help but laugh, “Stop it, brat. No amount of puppy-dog eyes is going to change my mind.”

 

Sam picked up a piece of the chicken and held it out, “Come on, this is good too. My friend, Cass, has been giving my brother, Dean, some cooking lessons. Granted they make-out more than cook but what they eventually produce is quite tasty.”

 

What sounded like a dog trying to laugh filled the room. Sam glanced down at it and frowned, “Did you just laugh because I inadvertently said something dirty?”

 

Innocent honey-brown eyes just looked up at him, as a long tongue flopped out of the dog's mouth. “Arrf!”

 

“I swear you're more like your illustrious namesake than you should be. Gabriel would have laughed there too. But he'd have railed me for twenty minutes afterward…and then tried to corner me in some dark spot diligently trying to get lucky.”

 

The dog turned around on Sam's lap and snuggled down before tilting its muzzle up to Sam's face and licking it again. He just laughed, “Way too much like your namesake.”

 

A wistful expression washed over Sam's face, and Gabe whined.

 

“It's okay, boy. Just wish I would have had more balls to do what I had desperately wanted to do. I can slay demons, and cage Lucifer but I couldn't even let Gabe know how I felt.”

 

“Arrf!”

 

“I know there's nothing I can do to change things.” Sam blinked a few times to stop himself from crying. “Gabriel's dead and his body is rotting away in that horrible place. I hate it. Hated having to witness it happen and having to leave him behind.”

 

A wet dog nose nudge against Sam's chin, “Arrf!”

 

“Thanks, buddy.”

 

“Arrf!”

 

“Dude! Is that a dog?!”

 

Sam damn near jumped three feet off the chair when Dean appeared out of nowhere. “Uhh…yeah.”

 

“Why?”

 

“He needed me.”

 

“How?”

 

“I saw the dog on the news, drove to the shelter and pretended it was part of an ongoing murder investigation.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Maybe I needed him too.”

 

“Arrf!”

 

“If he shits inside, you're cleaning it up.”

 

“So that's it? No making me give it up?”

 

Dean stared solemnly at Sam, “Dude! You died! Lucifer had to do some hoodoo on your ass to bring you back. I think I can live with a damn dog.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

“Just don't die again okay? I'm getting too old for that shit.” Dean ruffled Sam's hair and walked out.

 

Sam looked down at the happy dog, “Well its official. You're mine.”

 

“Arrf!” A tongue licked up the side of Sam's face.

 

“Now come on mutt, a quick trip around the bunker and then bed. And this time don't run off.” He scratched behind the golden-furred ears, and Gabe's tongue lolled out.

 

Thank goodness it was summer and there was no need for a jacket as Sam led the dog outside. They walked around the field over the bunker once, but the stupid mutt didn't do anything. “Come on, Gabe! I plan on sleeping in, and this is the last chance for you to be outside till then. You might as well attempt to go bathroom.”

 

The dog almost seemed uncomfortable as it glanced up at Sam and then looked over to the nearby tree. Its short legs moved the furry body closer to the tree trunk then, and Gabe lifted up the back one, looked quickly at Sam, and peed.

 

“Good boy, Gabe. Now, how about you poop, and we can get back inside.”

 

Sam watched the dog wander away and intentionally hide behind a huge tree trunk. Seconds later he heard an, “Arrf!”

 

Walking over he saw dog turds by the base of the tree. What precisely was the standard procedure if the tree was on their property? Did he have to bag the crap? “Nope. Not going to mess with it. I've dealt with enough shit today. Come on, Gabe. Bedtime.”

 

The dog ambled right alongside Sam as they walked back into the bunker and to Sam's room. It watched as Sam brushed his teeth and stripped down to just boxers. When they laid on the bed Gabe's wet nose was pressed right against Sam's chest. “Night, runt.”

 

As soon as the hunter was once again asleep, Gabe transformed back to his human form and sat crisscrossed on the bed just watching the guy sleep. “No wonder why Castiel always did this with Dean. Sammy's kinda cute when asleep.”

 

Gabriel ached to stay human and lay down next to the sexy fucker. “Sam would freak, though, if he woke up in the middle of the night and found me spooning him.”

 

He knew he had to let the guy know the truth, though, and with everything Sam had told him while a dog…Gabe wanted to see if the guy would be bold enough to repeat any of it to his face.

 

So he sat there for the next several hours as the dark, starry sky turned to light blue, Gabe waited for Sam to wake up.

 

That was why around ten o'clock when Sam woke up expecting to be greeted by Gabe, the cute dog, it wasn't a canine clinging to him. No, it was a very naked archangel smirking over at him.

 

"Morning, Samsquatch."

 

Sam stared at the guy with understandable confusion, "Gabriel?”

 

Gabe grinned sheepishly, “Arrf.”

 

Hazel eyes widened in shock then, and Sam grimaced, “I should have known. You've been messing with me ever since back when we first met."

 

“It wasn't on purpose this time, Samshine! I was just sneaking off in dog form when I was lovingly captured and taken to that shelter. I had no idea they'd do that news story on me, or that you'd see it and come rescue me.”

 

Sam ran agitated fingers through the tangled shoulder-length brown hair, “Well, that explains why I felt an instant connection when I saw you in dog form. My subconscious knew it was you.”

 

The guy turned bright red then as something else sunk in, “Shit! You heard everything I said on the trip home and earlier!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Fuckn' hell, Gabe!” Sam stormed off the bed and glared down at the naked archangel, “Dammit! You were dead, you asshole! You let me see you die…AGAIN!”

 

Gabe just sat on the bed, “I'm sorry, but after the shit with Asmodeus, I wasn't going to take any chances. Everyone had to think it was real.”

 

“Why didn't you let me know it was you after I had taken you from the shelter?”

 

“You started crying and then spent the rest of the trip here talking about me…so naturally I wanted to hear what you thought.”

 

Sam stared down at the floor, “And Rowena?”

 

“Jealous, Samsquatch?”

 

Those beautiful hazel eyes latched onto honey-brown, “Yes.”

 

“Nothing happened.”

 

Gabe could see the guy didn't believe him, “Not that she didn't try, but well I had my eyes on a different prize. She noticed nothing was going on down there and asked me why. So I told her about you.”

 

“So what then? You decided to pretend that you fucked her to make me upset?”

 

“Well, yeah. Would you have done anything at all had I not?”

 

“It's not that simple, Gabe.”

 

“Yeah, Sammy. It really is. We've danced around this for years now. Let's just be honest finally and deal with this crap between us. I like you, you stupid human. Do you like me?”

 

“I…”

 

“Hey Sam, Bobby wants to have a …” Dean stood in the opened doorway and stared in shock at the naked archangel sitting on the bed. “Son of a bitch! You're like a fuckn' cockroach!”

 

“Nice to see you too, Deano.”

 

Green eyes glared at Sam then, “Dude, did you know he was alive?”

 

“No, Dean, of course I didn't.”

 

“Why is he naked?” Dean looked over to Gabe, “Why the fuck are you naked?”

 

“People usually sleep in the nude.” Gabe wiggled his eyebrow as if to suggest it hadn't been sleeping that had taken place between him and Sam.

 

“He slept here? With you?” Dean was like the audience at a tennis match looking back and forth between the two.

 

“Yes, but not knowingly. He was the dog.” Sam said.

 

“What the flying fuck?!”

 

“Dean, I heard yelling. Is everything…Gabriel!” Cass stood next to the pissed-off hunter and stared at the still naked archangel.

 

“Hey, bro.”

 

“You're alive…and naked.”

 

Gabe winked at the guy, “Ding! Ding! Give the angel a prize.”

 

Dean looked over at the confused angel, “Apparently Gabe was the dog Sam felt compelled to rescue last night.”

 

“Cass is everything okay? I can't find Dean or Sam anywh…” Mary Winchester was the next person to come into the room and stare at the naked archangel still just lounging on the bed.

 

“Morning, ma'am.”

 

“Gabriel? You're alive?” She looked anxiously at the other three men and then back at Gabe, “Why are you naked?”

 

“I am naked because I like your son, Mrs. Winchester.”

 

“So why isn't he naked and why are we all in here?” The wise woman asked bluntly.

 

“Well, I call it rudeness, ma'am. Deano and his boy-toy just barged right in without asking while Sammy and I were having a very important convo.”

 

Mary turned to a very quiet Sam, “And how about you? Who do you want in your room, baby?”

 

Sam looked at the beautifully frustrating, totally not dead, completely naked archangel, then over to the glaring brother, the confused angel, and the worried mom. It was like the crazy start to a joke, and yet it was his life. And to top it off it was a life that wouldn't even exist at that moment if Satan hadn't given it back to him.

 

He started laughing…quite loudly. Now the fact that there was a naked archangel on Sam's bed wasn't the main focus of the room's other occupants. Nope, the tall guy holding his stomach and laughing like a fiend was the center of attention. Sam didn't give a flying fuck, though. It was either laugh or cry…and fuck, he had had enough tears in one day to float Noah's ark.

 

“Sam? Baby?” Mary knelt down next to her youngest…concern etched on her face. Comforting arms moved around Sam and as soon as their warmth sunk in his hysterical laughter turned into strangled sobs. Not knowing what else to do, Mary just held him close and gently rocked him.

 

Dean growled, stormed over to the naked archangel and in seconds a calloused hand was around Gabe's throat. The naked archangel was dragged off the bed and slammed into the nearest wall. “What the fuck did you do to my brother?!”

 

“Me? I think your family fucked him up enough without my help.”

 

“Dude, don't start a pissing war on dysfunctional families. Yours is no better.”

 

“And yet I'm the only one in the room being choked.” Gabe glared up into the angry green eyes without one trace of fear.

 

“Can we just lower the inflated levels of testosterone in the room and focus on Sam.” Mary said with a scolding mom voice.

 

Dean reluctantly let go of Gabe and moved back over to Cass.

 

Mary turned back to the crying giant in her arms, “Baby, maybe if you can express what's going on it will help.”

 

“He keeps dying on me.”

 

All eyes were once again on the naked man in the room. Gabe held his hands up, “Not like I'm doing it on purpose here, folks! I'd much prefer to stay alive, thank you very much.”

 

Sam's hand swiped across wet eyes, “And then he makes me fall in love with a dog and takes it away from me too.”

 

“In my defense…” Gabe backed up to add sufficient space between himself and the glaring people, “I had no idea Sam was going to come to the shelter. My plan of escape was merely to wait until everyone was asleep and then I was going to poof out of there. He's the one that came and brought me back into all this shit. I was on my way to fuckn' Monte Carlo and hookers.”

 

“Porn stars.” Sam stated looking right up at naked Gabe.

 

A shit-ass grin stretched across the archangel's face as he saw those hazel eyes twinkle, “That's right, Sam-I-am, they weren't just hookers. They're porn stars.”

 

Three confused people watched as Sam stood up and stalked over to Gabe, “In answer to your earlier question I'd like to remind you of that same conversation when you uttered those famous first words to me.”

 

The short-stack stared up at the giant, “Refresh my memory, mister.”

 

Sam cupped Gabe's chin and tilted his head up, “Gabriel, I need you. Fucked up, freaked out, and hell…even in dog form. I just need you.”

 

“Took you long enough.” Gabe said with a smirk. “I thought yo…”

 

The mouth that never stops was stopped when Sam finally kissed it.

 

Mary walked over to Dean and Cass and pushed them out of the room to give Sam and Gabe the privacy they deserved. A happy mom smiled across at the kissing duo as she shut the door. She had always prayed her boys would find angels to fall in love with…who knew they would end up with actual ones?!

 

When Sam lifted his lips off Gabe's, he smiled, “So you still want to sneak off to your porn stars in Monte Carlo?”

 

A strange grin took over the archangel's face. “Yes, actually. I suppose it's time that you finally meet them.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Do you trust me, Sammy?”

 

“Yes, Aladdin, I do.”

 

SNAP!

 

One second they were in Sam's room at the bunker and the next, people were speaking something not English as they stood together on a street corner. People kept staring at them, though. It was weird until Sam realized Gabe still had no clothes on.

 

“Dude! You're naked.”

 

Snap!

 

Gabe was now not naked…and hmmm it made Sam oddly sad.

 

“Come with me.” Gabe held out his hand, and without hesitation, Sam took it and held on tight. His reward was another sun-rivaling smile.

 

As they traversed the bustling streets of Monte Carlo, Sam easily stood out. He was taller than everyone around him. And in that same vein, it dawned on him why Gabe liked it there. Most of the natives were the same height as the short-stack…possibly even a tad shorter.

 

Another four blocks blurred past without them stopping. “Gabe, you do remember I was brought back to life yesterday…I'm still not at peak condition. Are we almost there?”

 

“Yes, just one more block away I promise, Samsquatch.”

 

And indeed Gabe led him to a villa and walked right inside. They headed to the kitchen area then, and when they walked into the wide open space, Sam saw lights and cameras. Also, he saw two guys fucking on the Formica countertop as the filming crew watched nonchalantly.

 

Well hell! Porn stars. Male porn stars.

 

“Cut! Fuckn' hell! JP could you please show more expression! This is fuckn' Casa Erotica not some dinky little video on RedTube.”

 

“Sorry, Eric, I just got distracted.”

 

As the guy being scolded got off the other naked man and turned, Sam gasped, “Gabriel, why does that guy look like me?”

 

Gabe shrugged, “Cause Dad had a weird sense of humor? Fuck if I know. I just happened to come here to hide after Luci tried to gank me and there he was. You but not you.”

 

“Did you fuck him?” Sam asked not really in judgment because he understood how it must have been, but he was still curious enough to hear.

 

“A few times. He even let me call him Sam.” Gabe winked up at him.

 

“Shit. That shouldn't be hot, but it is.”

 

“Want to meet him? Very cool guy.”

 

“Uh…”

 

Before Sam could make his decision, it was made for him.

 

“Gabe?”

 

The man in question walked over to them and hugged Gabriel. “Dude! You didn't say you were in town.”

 

“Didn't plan on it actually. Kind of a spur of the moment deal.”

 

That was when the guy turned and saw Sam standing there. A jaw dropped, and similar hazel eyes stared. “I'm assuming this is, Sam.”

 

Gabe laughed, “Uhh, you think.”

 

“Shit, Gabe, you weren't kidding. We could be twins!” JP held out a hand, “Hi. Nice to finally meet you, Sam.”

 

Sam tried hard not to pay attention to the fact that the guy was buck naked and had just been fucking for a porno. But he couldn't help notice there was one way they weren't twins. He smirked…and then he realized he hadn't responded yet.

 

Shaking the guy's hand, Sam felt like they were back in the Apocalypse world and this guy was AU Sam. “Nice to meet you, JP. I've heard many things about you.”

 

“Don't believe a damn thing Gabe told you about me. I'm quite innocent…well, for a porn star that is.”

 

It was just too bizarre even for Sam who grew up with Supernatural creatures and events. “Don't mind me. I'm just having a brain aneurysm looking at you.”

 

“No biggie, I've heard so much about you, so I'm not as freaked out.”

 

“OKAY PEOPLE LET'S GO!”

 

JP looked over at the director and then back at Sam, “Well I guess that's my cue.”

 

The guy hugged Gabe once more, “I'm happy for you.”

 

“Yeah, yeah…go fuck the guy senseless, Jar-Jar Binks.”

 

“You too, Mighty Mouse.”

 

It was so odd to watch the guy walk back over to the other naked man laying on the counter and get back into position. Like JP was hitting a mark, but the mark was actually a man named Mark.

 

“ACTION!”

 

Annnnddddd yeah. Sam was standing next to an archangel watching the next Casa Erotica being filmed. Yep, this was his life. He looked down at Gabe, “Mighty mouse, huh?”

 

Gabriel quirked an eyebrow up, “Trust me, it will make sense when I get through with you.”

 

Annnndddddd yeah. Pants issues times ten. And once again Sam had to say a small thank you to Lucifer for bringing him back to life so he could fuck Satan's own brother. Yeah, this was Sam's life…and it was awesome! He couldn't stop the grin from lighting up his face as he looked over to the short archangel at his side, “So, Gabe, I'm thinking you, me and a jar of peanut butter.”

 

SNAP!

 

Instantly they were back in Sam's room. The door was shut and locked, and Sam was standing at the bottom of the bed staring at the once again naked Gabriel laying on the mattress…a jar of peanut butter placed perfectly between the man's parted legs.

 

 

The wicked archangel just grinned, “Arrf!”

 

THE END

 

 

 


End file.
